


Because You Are Here

by LittleMissOddball



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 15:33:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7367380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissOddball/pseuds/LittleMissOddball
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama is haunted by his middle school self. Will he carry this burden till sleep permanently takes over?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because You Are Here

**Author's Note:**

> A カゲヒナ Fanfic  
> Genre: Romance, Fluff, Shounen Ai, Sports, ハイキュー！Song Fanfic: Kimi ga Iru Kara by Arashi. Lyric Translation credits to: yarukizero@livejournal.com  
> Setting: During the Training Camp, Season 2. At Shinzen High
> 
> //This Fanfic may not coincide with all the actual events in the anime, maybe just a few scenarios, as the rest is a work of my ~~unnecessary~~ imagination.//

_Chasing after the tall clouds, we raced up a long hill_

_Leaving the city behind, I wonder how far we’ll go._

_If we go over the top of it, the wind should change_

_What kind of color was it? Let’s pass the time together_

_Every time your long hair sways, my eyes glance towards you_

_When we realized it, the scattered grains of light had started changing into a rainbows._

There was a rustle of grass beneath our feet as we sprinted towards the top of Shinzen High’s Heartbreak Hill for our penalty sprint. For the nth time today, we, the Karasuno Volleyball Club, had lost yet another practice match against one of Tokyo’s power schools and thus was subjected to a lap of uphill sprint before we start our next match. As I neared the top of the hill, a figure relatively shorter than me made his way past me and had reached the top. He stood above me, for once looking taller and more authoritative than he originally is. His tall orange spiky hair swayed to the direction of the wind, and his eyes filled with the same look of glee every time he and I had successfully landed a ball inside the opponent’s court. I reached the top a few seconds after, the rest of the team close behind.

“Hah! Too slow, Kageyama!” he said with a mocking tone. “This gives me the first win of the day! Bleeeeh!”

“Shut up, dumbass.” I retorted with a smack to his head.

“Sore loser. Heh. “ He flashes me the usual smile and suddenly I’m weak in the knees followed by the painful clenching in my chest and then the sudden urge to touch him. I feel my hand, consciously or the other, start to bring itself to Hinata’s face when he runs behind me to play around with the seniors. I am suddenly aware of that hand that had nearly betrayed my emotion.

Again, he’s playing with my emotions and as I falter at even the smallest gestures of kindness and unintended friendship, I find myself slowly breaking out of the isolating cell I’ve made inside of me and coming towards the lightly painted scenery where he stood, his hand held out, calling me in the endearing term, ‘partner’. The wind had changed its direction to the east, blowing with it fallen leaves from the very few trees that stood shading us from the grueling heat of the sun. My eyes followed him as he made folly with the rest of the team before heading back down for the next round of games. I felt a hand gently pat me on my back. I turn to see our 3rd year setter, Senior Sugawara give me a complacent smile before sprinting downhill and back inside the volleyball gym. From the bottom of the hill his voice echoed silently in a sing-song way that uttering my name seemed a broken melody, masking the loud thuds in my chest.

“Kageyama!”

“What, dumbass?” I returned, miraculously managing the quiver in my voice.

“Gimme a toss!”

The wind subsided and drifting parts of the wind left itself hanging on the side of my shoulders as I am engulfed in a world, fully aware of the lightly painted illusion where all that remained was me and him, our heartbeats in sync. There I stood, motionless, as if my body had surrendered itself to the sweet allure until the strong voice of our captain ordering us to return inside to prepare for the next match shattered the scenery and I return to the distinct sounds of honking horns and the clanking of railroad tracks amidst the chirping of the birds and rustling of leaves. I stared at the spot where he stood, now empty. Hinata had gone back in ahead. I followed suit while drowning in the guilty and rueful thoughts that I could ever be a part of that beautiful illusion.

 

_Because you’re here, love love love. Keep goin’ on_

_Everything is overflowing with a million colors_

_As I get to know you (Alright) I learn about sides of you (Oh yeah)_

_That I didn’t know Love, love, love you from the bottom of my heart_

_I wanna give you love I wanna give you love._

 

Whack. The round gas inflated rubber object flew in the air and was coming down quickly to the other side of the net. The shuffling of feet as the players got into position to defend their territory and to keep the ball up in the air. A hubbub of voices shouting for cover and signals for the ball on their side overpowered the squeaking sounds of rubber soles skidding against the shiny mahogany floor of the volleyball gym. Despite the clamor of noises on all four courts, I could see nothing but darkness and the movements of my team mates as well as my own as we shuffled, keeping the ball in the air and blocking any spikes from the team. I could hear nothing but the fast paced thudding in my chest as I waited.

“Kageyama, we leave it to you!” Captain Daichi’s yell seemed to come a good ways from me, even more than I’m usually accustomed to. However, I heard it knew what it meant.

The ball was coming.

I quickly moved to my setting stance, somewhere a bit in the middle of the net as my eyes followed the movement of the ball now rapidly coming down on my hands now prepared to toss. There was a sudden rush of adrenaline, blood coursing violently through my veins and a great ache in the back of my consciousness now starting to recall the time where there was nobody around to receive my toss. There was a slight shiver, a sort of hesitation in my hands considering a dump, despite knowing the futility of that move. We were losing, and I couldn’t afford to lose another point, despite this being just a practice match. The right thing to do was to toss it to someone, anyone and pray that the block would not be enough to stop the attack.

But what if no one was there to receive it?

_Gimme a toss, Kageyama!_

The darkness in which the scene replayed itself quickly vanished along with the sound of Hinata’s rubber soles leaving the floor as he positioned himself at the top of the net, ready to receive my toss and guarantee us a point. My muscles throbbed underneath my flesh in reaction to the ball hitting my palm as I sent it flying to Hinata’s direction. From my rear view, I could see a two blockers ready to shut out Hinata’s attack. I hold my breath, awaiting for the loud thud that comes from the ball landing. The ball stopped exactly where I had wanted it to and with a full swing of his arm, Hinata sent the ball straight down to the left corner and then landing, bottom first as the whistle blows, calling IN, earning us a one point lead.

From our side came the rapid-fire shouts of glee and simultaneous ecstatic hurrahs and words of praise from the entire team. Watching from the benches, Coach Ukai gave us his own shouts of cheer as we returned to our positions and prepared for our round of service. Hinata came up to me and gave me a strong whack on the back and went on ahead.

As I looked at him from behind, my chest swelled. From it sprouted the unknown feelings that never seem to go away no matter how hard I tried to bottle it up.

Maybe it was me getting cocky. Most probably it was the feeling of competence, that someone was now finally able to return the tosses. And maybe it was comfort in the knowledge that the rift I had created long before I arrived in Karasuno would cease to exist. Was I silently being cheered upon from the shadows? Like a mother who looked to her child, wishing that one day the bonds he created would send a million colors flying towards the heavens creating the lightly colored scenery he had so desperately wanted to be a part of?

“Gimme another, Kageyama! We’re on fire today!”

“Yeah!”

His sing-song voice traveled from across the court and rang in my ears, sending tremors down my spine. I put up a face to conceal the obvious red spreading to the tip of my ears. How dare he be cocky when he can’t even defend during mid-air battles. And yet he was, along with his simplistic attitude of looking forward instead of dwelling on the things that should have been, garnering strength from weakness. Everyday is a relentless battle to keep up with him and thus the struggle to remain above him continues.

_This isn’t middle school anymore!_

_I_ _’ll stand with you, on the same court!_

_I’ll be the one to beat you!_

Time and again, he would proclaim to me his noble desire to put me into place despite knowing the limitations of his abilities; constantly remind me that middle school is far behind us, that we are a team, that we are ‘partners’. That day, I saw nothing except for the ball and myself upon my throne dressed in regal purple but nonetheless devoid of my followers. That scene replayed itself on numerous occasions. And when it did, the numbness I felt that day accompanied by the cold gush of isolation would begin to swallow me up until his voice picked me up again, prompting me not to wallow in my own sorry existence. And then I’m riled up all over again. He’s not just stupid, he’s a fool. Nevertheless, believing in him, letting him walk with me; letting my heart waver at every sight, touch and sound, doesn’t that make me thrice the bigger fool?

 

_Tired from playing, your smiling face was dyed in the twilight_

_We’d been running around like little kids_

_Even if the magic fades as the sun starts to set_

_We’ll never forget the memories of the dreams we had_

_T_ _he sun shines gently down on you drying your tears_

_The words we’d drawn in the sand will disappear too._

_We entrust our wishes to the approaching waves_

 

There was a great big sigh of relief when the coaches called it a day, telling us to go wash off and have dinner. At the call of dinner, Senior Tanaka, one of our second year regulars as well as wing spikers, Senior Nishinoya, our regular second year libero, and Hinata bounded happily out the door and dashed towards the men’s bathroom with Senior Bokuto, a senior ace player of Fukurodani and Lev, a giant first year middle blocker from Nekoma following closely behind in an attempt to get to dinner first. I stayed behind with the rest to help clean up.

The cleanup went by quickly so by the time I could no longer control the growling in my stomach, I excused myself and left for the bathroom to wash up before heading off to dinner.

On my way there, I spotted Hinata standing at the top of Heartbreak Hill under the timely shade of the tree. The sun had started to set and the sky was letting off an orange glow like giant flames randomly shooting in all directions. As the wind started to pick up, I realized that my feet had taken a detour towards the hill, unconsciously drawn by the unusually serene figure standing alone his eyes fixed on the still strong glow of the setting sun. I stood beside him facing the same direction yet he did not move or flinch and simply allowed my company. For a while he stood, until his legs gave out and took a seat and reclined on the green grass. I followed his movements then locked our eyes with each other. I remained standing, taking in his entire figure. He was slim, with slender legs and his arms extended wide while his fingers added the extra width. As expected though, he wasn’t all that tall. His face was thin and pointed at the chin and the smile he wore made his smile seem to reach the back of his head. His deep orange eyes were the color of the flames of sky, but much brighter, like the sky was the misprint of it.

There was stillness and silence between us, as if the clock of time moved slowly. It was a silence that neither one of us wanted to end, like being together like this seemed like the most normal thing in the world.

“I thought you had gone ahead with the rest to dinner.” I said breaking the precious silence.

He gave a small chuckle. “I finished up quickly to catch this. It has a soothing effect on you.”

As if you could ever be calmed. Not you of all people.

Suddenly, a tear formed in the corner of his left eye. Startled, I knelt down as my hand, the same hand that had moved to touch him the morning, brought itself to the tears now constantly streaming down his face. He swatted my hand away and covered his face with his. He silently sobbed as I sat there unaware of what to do. This was something he had never done in front of me before and it was something I never expected nor wished to see. I thought my heart would stop if his tears would not cease flowing. So it was a sight of relief when it did. I touched a finger to the bottom of his eye and then cupped one side of his face. His eyes grew wide and as the flesh in my palm felt him shudder, I quickly withdrew my hand, blushing. He sat up and I looked away, afraid of what he might say. I tried to explain myself but spoke only obscure words.

My hand had betrayed me. My heart was beating wildly in my chest, blood flowed rapidly through my veins and my mind was blank, devoid of all reason. Suddenly, life left me and traversed to a parallel dimension, losing all grip on reality as Hinata looked at me with expecting eyes. I had taken a bold move and it seemed like it wasn’t the time for that.

Yet my hand moved on it’s own. And betrayed me of it’s own will, knowing I had been holding back for so long.

 

_Together with you Love love love,_ _If we could stay here like this I_

_t seems like the hands of the clock will come to a stop_

_Next to your side (Alright) I can’t hide anything from you (Oh yeah)_

_Because you’re here, Love love love you more than anyone_

 

“S-sorry, just now. I wasn’t...uhm...” I managed to get out.

_My hand betrayed me_.

“Hey, did it feel nice? Kageyama?” He spoke to me softly, but with the same cheerfulness. “Holding my face, I mean.”

“W-what?”

“I mean, this is just probably me but I’ve been noticing you trying to reach out to me nowadays. I figured you wanted to touch me. But I never understood why. I guess I was right, huh?” he spoke rapidly, but I could hear literally nothing, like my hears had subconsciously blocked out all the sounds, muffling these and making them almost indistinguishable from gibberish.

Time seemed to stop as I took in the words that came out of him. My brain’s gears started to move as I had realized the gravity of the situation. His eyes remained parked on me, as if studying me like an experimental mouse waiting for a chemical reaction. I shuddered as it began to sink in that all my hard work trying to mask my feelings, pretending I could care less about the overwhelming pain in my chest every time I had the urge to touch him, had all been for nothing as he had known all along the many chances I had and thus the many chances I let slip by. I knew I had to get out of this situation somehow.

The heavens must have heard my plea when Captain Daichi with his strong tone of reproof, echoed through the now dark skies. He reminded us that there was a meeting in a few in the club’s room. I sprang quickly like a jack in a box and scrambled down the hill as fast as I could in hopes that my long legs would put a great distance between us.

Since we got back to the rest house, I had spent nearly every minute trying to avoid him. I made sure he wasn’t in the bathroom when I’d be in, or I’d avoid times where it would just be me and him. We had the meeting then we prepared for bed.

When we were assigned bedrooms, I had been the least ecstatic after finding out that Hinata and I slept in different rooms. It was an incomprehensible feeling of frustration.

However, for the first time since training camp started, I have never been so happy to be in separate rooms.

Tonight, I took the liberty of going to bed early, hoping to get up early to catch the last Tokyo sunrise I would experience while doing my routine early morning jog. Knowing full well how busy we would be once we get back home, I wanted to bring back something to get me through the obstacles ahead. Everyone else had gone to the open baths where they were, for sure fooling around with the other teams we had been practicing with. Once, I had wondered how everyone seemed to get along just fine despite knowing what we were to be once we step outside the training camp and onto the real court. We would be enemies fighting for a spot in the national tournament. Senior Bokuto would most likely be his usual goofy self during the real thing, but when it came down to it, he would be ready to crush our puny team and guarantee that spot for their team as is expected of the Ace of Fukurodani. I’m pretty sure Captain Daichi would have done the same. Somehow, the idea of having a connection with these amazing teams off-court made me feel relief, mysterious as it may seem.

As I was walking to the room with cold coffee in hand, I thought I saw Hinata in his hapi coat, walk out the main door of the rest house. It was dark and the clock read 8 in the evening. I had thought he was off to get something for those still in the bath. I ignored it and continued walking down the hallway while admiring the beautifully tended garden with its ponds glistening with the light gleam of the crescent moon, the taciturn satellite moving slowly across the sky, the wind once again blowing strong while the bonsais that stood upon tall stools scattered around the small courtyard leaned to the direction where it blew, the leaves dancing up and down. I got back to my room which was unsurprisingly empty, sat down on my futon and in my bag rummaged for the book I had brought for the trip and buried myself in it and in the warmth of the futon.

Only a few minutes had passed when the wooden door slip open revealing Senior Tanaka dressed in a bath robe with a hand towel swung over his shoulders. He looked like he had just gotten out of the bath however his eyes portrayed a sort of panic. I put down the book and asked him what he needed.

“Huh? Hinata isn’t here, either? Shouldn’t he be back by now?”

I cocked my head in question. “I saw him walk out of the rest house a few minutes ago. I thought he went to buy snacks for everyone.”

“Oh, well you see, one topic in the bath had been about out schools and he got curious about what the Tokyo boys’ schools looked like. Said he wanted to go visit them tonight before we leave tomorrow. Senior Kuroo promised to tour him someday but it was Senior Bokuto who quickly handed him a map to Fukurodani, saying the school was just close by. Once he got the piece of paper, he washed off and dashed out the bath. We told him to come back early, or Captain was gonna kick his ass for sure. That idiot’s so gonna get it for sure.”

Senior Tanaka let out a guffaw, but I wasn’t amused. I check my watch and it read 10:30. It had been an hour and a half after I last saw him out the door. Without another word, I threw back the covers and dashed past a confused Senior Tanaka. I struggled against the restricting cloth of the hapi while the wooden floorboards responded to my agitated steps with its own creaking sounds. My breath hastened as I went underneath the door frame and out into the dark streets of Tokyo. All the while, my mind screamed nothing else but Hinata. Where was he right now? How far had he gone? How farther is he gonna go? Amidst all my thoughts, I realized I too had no idea where I was going. All I knew was I could leave no stone unturned until I find him. It was at a park, that I found him lying atop a small mound of grass and looking up the sky, still as a log as if death had come to claim him. Meanwhile my breathing was ragged, and my legs were tired and sore from all the running. Nevertheless, the instant I had let go of a sigh of relief, all the pain and obviously the worry seemed to have vanished into thin air. I walked up towards the mound and stood directly above him, blocking his view of the stars overhead.

 

_Everlasting summer days A summer dream for just the two of us_

_Everlasting summer days In my eyes is a sun that won’t set_

_Everlasting summer days Like this, we’ll never say goodbye_

_Everlasting summer days They’re shining_

 

“You had us all worried, dumbass.”

“Sorry. I got lost.”

“Getting lost like that proves you’re a dumbass after all.”

“What’d you say!?” he jerked upwards, obviously irritated. I set myself beside him, ignoring his snide remarks. “And what about you huh? You don’t know the way back either do you!”

I gave him the usual smug face with a shrug of confidence. “Unlike some dumbass who got lost, I happen to have a good sense of direction.” I chided, emphasizing the ‘dumbass’. I had riled him up once again by calling him dumbass.

But it was a good thing, I thought. As I was the only who ever called him that. It was my special name to mark him as my own.

I had become silent, choosing not to rebut and instead poured all my attention to the vast sky. He must have realized I was not going to be speaking for a while and thus returned to his vertical position, his eyes and ears once more directed to the melody of the night.

Thousands of white spots decorated the sky with their unique twinkle, like a chorus in the midsummer. It was a clear night sky. Instead of car horns and train tracks it was sound of babes in deep sleep as the bird of night had come out to greet the moon now glowing brightly overhead in place of the once burning sun who had gone to sleep. The crickets sang their mating song as the nearby creek gurgled like a baby who had let out his first laugh. The park was deserted except for us but a rusting swing indicated a presence had been here before I arrived.

My mind needlessly flies back to the afternoon’s event. It was faint, but the sensation of my palm pressed against his smooth soft skin was as present and as great as the excitement with holding the ball, maybe even better. Just the thought of it made me shiver despite the heat slowly spreading throughout my entire body. I had thought of apologizing once again about my unsightly behavior when Hinata beat me to it.

“About this afternoon, it freaked me out a bit that I was right in my observations. But it doesn’t mean I hate it. If anything, I was little happy I got it right.”

I grunted. “Do you even know what you’re saying, Hinata? How can you even be happy about that? It makes me look like a complete pervert.”

“No it doesn’t.” he replied quickly and without hesitation. “It just shows that you want to depend on me. I have Natsu you know so I have that older brother air around me. So go ahead and touch me all you want, Kageyama!”

The last of restraints finally snapped with those words. My mind knew it wasn’t what it was supposed to mean. But my heart screamed so otherwise. As I felt the same hand that betrayed my emotions lift itself from the ground, pulling Hinata closer by the back of his neck and crashing our lips together, all logic and reason had once again escaped me.

True enough, it was a shot in the dark. It was a mere peck. There hadn’t even been any tongue. However the very act was enough to send shivers down my spine as I felt his cold chapped lips collide with mine.

It was a mere second, a brush of the lips. But the moment seemed to continue. It replayed in my mind like a broken record that still played so well despite having to play for so long.

As we sat together, just silently looking at each other. The sound of crickets and the hooting of the owl reverberated around us. I became aware of the hands that still held his beautiful face between them and the sound of the still loudly beating heart within my chest near to explosion. None of us said a word. It was as if words were not not to enough to explain what had happened; the words were the last thing we needed; that words would begin to describe the feeling of euphoria.

Instead, we both let out little laughs. We both had tears in our eyes as Hinata and I brought our foreheads together, closing the any gap that had remained between us as the warmth of our smiles gently engulfed us in a never ending summer dream.

 

_Because you’re here, love love love. Keep goin’ on_

_Everything is overflowing with a million colors_

_As I get to know you (Alright) I learn about sides of you (Oh yeah)_

_That I didn’t know Love, love, love you from the bottom of my heart I wanna give you love I wanna give you love._

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Haikyuu fanfic so I went with something cliche. So comment me guys and tell me what you think. <3  
> -LittleMissOddball


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